'Returning to Self'

In the middle of a green field lays a patch of white snow.  I am motionless.  I have a feeling of danger and forlornness.  Beautiful white cover has deep cuts and the black earth coming out as a wound on a clean flesh. There is heavy silence in the air, and I have hard time to think about what happened here…  I feel a deep sorrow and guilt for not preventing the tragedy… 

'Returning to Self', polymer clay on glass by Galina Szakacs

I turned to myself, to Galina who is in the “cage” of hard self-judgment for the situation that she is not personally responsible for…    She carries compassion to history’s collective pain.  These thoughts and beliefs in personal responsibility for others’ pain make deep imprint on person’s psyche.  I am listening to Galina and connecting with my compassion…

Suddenly I paid attention to a green land with small flowers that are spreading more and more in the sunny distance.  It’s still quiet, but I feel safe and sense life in the distance.

I shared my vision story ”Returning to Self”

 “You focus on black patches of the white snow.”   Yes, my responsible Galina is always on alert…

 “Your story, brought my mind back to Hospice, to the process of grief…  how we first feel attached for the life and death of loved one.  How we feel guilty and responsible for their life, happiness and sufferings.  It takes longtime for many people to move to a place of compassion.”

August 20th, 2024

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'Sanctuary'

Did you ever see that Home, Garden, untouched Nature and Sanctuary can be one? To me, home is where you live ~ garden is the polished decoration in front of the house ~ nature is where life is untouched ~ and sanctuary is where I feel safe, warm and open.

'Sanctuary', polymer clay on glass by Galina Szakacs

I was surprised when I saw the home and garden of my friend Barb Young. I experienced a feeling of being surrounded by nature. Here is a small white shed, unobtrusive and a hint of home. Here is a Garden, the trees, color and shape of flowers, and soft paths are weaved into one body.

I did not worry about disturbing the busy birds and butterflies. I belonged to their Sanctuary, and I was listening to their Stories.

February 10th, 2022

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'Challenging Habits'

Last week my friend, Chris Carrington, invited me to watch Bev Rosen’s lecture and celebration of the 50th Anniversary of Fiddler On The Roof.  The topic of survival in times of uncertainty is very close to my family’s experience in Russia. And Bev’s ability to transport us through time and space by telling Tevye’s powerful story ~ all made my experience special…

‘Challenging Habits’ polymer clay on glass bowl

Today, I decided to play with a new glass, a small shallow bowl.  As much as I prepared myself to be free from a certain vision and certain expectations, I found myself back on a “comfortable and familiar” path ~ an inclination to follow the line of the glass, the symmetry of the pattern, the harmony of the colors…  I felt frustrated by the challenge to “step out of a habit”.  A sudden thought crossed my mind: “What about the people in Tevye’s family?  All their traditions, beliefs ~ all were challenged to the core. How did they feel?”

Somehow this reflection helped me to relax and overcome the challenges I was having with this particular creation.  It amazes me how witnessing other peoples’ stories helps us relate their struggles to our own challenges. It opens us to a new way of seeing, feeling and thinking ~ and you never know when it may happen!

February 9th, 2022

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